Bobs Songs

MUSIC

Ambition

Holding me back   (2.15)

Amusing song about wanting to be a rockstar, but slagging off every member of the band in turn (including the singer): Ending with a fight on stage

Girl with a dream   (1.37)

Encouraging song about a young girl who wants to be a rockstar and who I believe in

Already a rockstar to me   (1.28)

Another song about a young girl who wants to be a rockstar and who I believe in

What am I doing up here?   (3.25)

Light hearted song about not being a musician (and belonging in the audience instead)

Want people to like your band   (2.01)

Having written 300 in a year I started to believe I could write songs about anything:  so I set myself the challenge of writing a song about what you need to do to make people like your band:  Surely I couldn’t turn such a crass topic into a song?  So of course I did.  (I did the same with ‘Song Writer’ below)

​

Punks dancing

Starting the pit   (1.57)
Song about turning up at a gig where no-one is dancing and a little voice inside your head drives you to dive in there to start the mosh pit: You start dancing on your own at first, but then others join you at the front, very soon there is a real atmosphere

Just a face in the crowd   (2.53)

Song inspired by a disagreement with a good friend: Oddy the lead singer for Resistance 77.  He thinks that the audience is what matters, to me the bands are the real stars. I am literally “just a face in the crowd, a no-body a nothing”, just proud to be there to see the bands perform. I get that both are important, but this is a song from my perspective

Dance   (1.51)

Too many people say that they can’t dance and refuse to:  but really it’s more about their fear and inhibitions – this song bluntly shows how easy it is and orders you to dance

​

Playing

Life’s too short for talking shit   (1.24)

Song about refusing to waste time either between songs or in interviews when really the audience just want you to shut up and play (like Charlie Harler does with the UK Subs): and stop wasting precious moments that they are never going to get back

Guitar solos   (2.06)

Song about telling your guitarist to stop ruining your gigs with “wanky guitar solo’s”:  “They belong in metal NOT in punk”. Save them for a guitarists forum, the rest of us don’t need to hear them.

I can’t remember the words   (1.07)

The heading over and over again is literally the premise of this pointless song with a few diddly dum’s thrown in for good measure. Subsequently, the song can be as long or as short as you choose to make it.

Song writer (Let me write a song for you)   (0.52)

After writing 300 songs in a year I started to believe I could write about anything:  so I set myself the challenge of writing a song about offering to write a song for someone on anything they want:  Surely I couldn’t turn such a crass topic into a song?  So of course I did.  (I did the same with ‘Want people to like your band’ above)

Guitar   (2.28)

A ballad about learning guitar, falling in love with it and it becoming your whole life

Let me hear you sing   (2.18)

Song asking someone (or everyone) in the audience to sing along

My tin whistle   (1.56)

Song about loving playing my tin whistle, I do prefer the whistle instrumentals through this to the words

Poxy song   (2.20)

Pointless silly song that repeats – it is intended that the audience join in – but then you can keep going long after they want you to stop.  It’ a song for singarounds and campfires. Good tune too.

​

Punk music scene

A new punk?   (2.04)

Song about introducing a new person to punk music and the punk scene

80’s drama Queen   (4.06)

Song written in anger when a babyboomer on a punk Facebook page put up a picture of young punks they don’t know who were just hanging out in the street and then slagging them off, probably in exactly the same way that their parents slagged them off when they were that age. Then to my annoyance, rather than calling him out on his bitching a torade of balding babyboomers joined in.  I hate bitching wherever it comes from but I also realise that young punks are the future. My angry reply is calmly articulated here.

Nazi punks fuck off   (1.22)

Song abruptly asking Nazi’s and fascists to leave the room and asking the audience to remove them. Fascists trying to invade our music scene has been a problem from the start and lots of bands including The Clash, Sham 69, the Dead Kennedy’s, Angelic Upstarts and the Stranglers to more recent bands like Gimp Fist have all campaigned against them and written and sung songs condemning them.  This song does too, just a little more strongly, or as strongly as the Dead Kennedy’s did

More punk than you   (2.36)

Punk has no rules:  but from time to time you get someone laying down rules and criteria for other punks to follow.  It’s all rubbish and we tend to dub them the punk police:  This song is a rebuttle of everything they say to you

Hair decisions   (3.08)

I don’t cut my hair all year – I just let it grow – that creates a blank canvas every year for a crazy haircut for the Rebellion festival. Then I shave it bald and don’t cut it for a year to grow myself another blank canvas. I’ve done this for years.  This song is about planning the next years art piece

Dead punks   (2.12)

Song about dead punks living on through the music they leave behind

Conformity   (1.35)

Song about fitting in and standing out and trying to inspire creativity

Turn it down   (2.02)

Young punks these days usually have parents that like punk: and they were allowed and encouraged to play it: it didn’t used to be like that: our parents hated our music in the 70’s and 80’s: indeed rebelling against them was part of the appeal. This is a song about those battles between father and son.

Music for the masses   (3.24)

I grew up hating the over-commercialised rubbish that they played on the radio.  I’d still listen and looked forward to them occasionally playing an OK song – but never anything good. It seemed like I was the only one who felt that – so it seemed like other people always played the stuff I hated loudly. The music I loved wasn’t played anywhere and you’d either be introduced to it by friends or trail through record shops to discover it. This is a song about that torment. Thanks to the internet that is no longer a problem so this is a historical perspective

Punk at heart   (2.53)

Beautifully articulated song about punk culture

Listen to the new punks   (2.57)

Song about how important young punks are to the scene

 

DAFT or FUNNY

Fake tortoise   (3.11)

Daft song about having a fake tortoise because your Mum won’t let you have a real pet

Run run run   (1.49)

Light hearted up-beat ballad about falling in love in a nightclub but having to dash to the toilet and when you come back finding out that she has fallen in love with your best friend

Let me lie in you bastard   (1.41)

A song pleading to be allowed to sleep in

Don’t leave me darling   (3.32)

Funny song highlighting what is wrong with men in a relationships. It is great for watching guilt ridden men in the audience shrink in front of their partners: Yes we are that bad.

Digital romance   (1.06)

Song about achieving your sexual gratification through a vibrating mobile phone (It was written on Valentine day and before smartphones were a thing)

Rubber duck   (2.47)

Daft and annoying song that is a bit of a tongue twister. It is also never ending loop and as such you you can make it as long or as short as you choose to

The O’Rafferty’s curse   (5.56)

Comedic Celtic ballad about an ‘unfortunate’ Irishman's week as he fearfully tries to explain his innocense to his partner (with some sexual references)

Non-starter   (1.33)

Song about not being able to start your car when you are late for work

 

DAILY LIFE

Tea

Gagging for a brew   (2.30)

Song about having travelled a long way to visit a friend and then sitting impatiently, when all you really want is a cup of tea

Proper tea   (1.50)

Song about having a partner who will make you a cup of tea – but who makes it wrong – putting the milk in first and worse

Sitting with a cuppa   (1.49)

Song about how nice it is to sit down with a cup of tea

​

Food

The bells   (3.14)

Song about coming home drunk and making yourself something to eat and setting the fire alarm off before going to bed

Plauving   (3.12)

Song about stealing apples and tree fruit (pronounced ‘plarving’).  The word is a coloquialism used only in Blairgowrie where I went to high school: It’s not even used in Meigle where I lived nine miles away

Fridge Mice   (1.35)

Song about mythical mice that steal your treats

The munchies   (2.07)

Song about going to the chip shop for family and friends

Chocolates   (5.04)

Song complaining about the size of chocolate bars these days

The washing up   (1.59)

Annoying song about a son who never does the dishes

​

Other stuff

Doctor Marten boots   (2.23)

Amusing ballad about bringing a girl you fancy home from the night club and struggling to get your Doctor Marten boots off

Morning   (1.50)

The graphic description of a frantic morning routine on a day where everything that can go wrong does go wrong and where, now late for work you dash there as fast as you can before you realise it’s a Saturday: Your day off

I can’t sleep   (2.07)

A catchy song about being an insomniac

My Dad has farted   (1.41)

Amusing song written for my son: Sorry my farts are that bad. Simple lyrics and a really catchy tune though

The bath   (1.57)

A funny song about what happens when a guy gets into a bath with a girl: (Observational humour referencing the fact that women have higher pain thresholds, men whinge a lot and women show no sympathy and indeed find our discomfort and whineyness amusing)

​

HOPE AND ACHIEVEMENT

Inspiration   (2.34)

Inspiring song about keeping going when all the odds are stacked against you

You can do anything   (2.08)

Song telling everyone that they can do anything that they want to do

Positive thinking   (2.34)

A hyper positive song about being positive and up-beat. It doesn’t use the tune, but I had in mind the theme from Tom Thumb and Zip-a-dee-do-dah when I wrote this. Possibly suitable for a childrens musical? I feel it needs someone who is more upbeat than me when they sing to do it justice.

Loving my voice   (1.52)

It doesn’t really matter if other people like your voice as long as you do. Too many people are intrinsically self-critical: this song very much isn’t, it is very much about loving your own voice

Rain on me   (1.55)

A song about feeling a little down, but choosing to see things in a more positive way

Just do it   (2.27)

Life is better, simpler and more fun when you’re answer to every question is ‘aww fuckit’  (yes).  This song tells you to take every opportunity that life gives you and to live life to the full

​

NATURAL HISTORY

Watching   (3.31)

Atmospheric song about observing wildlife at night

There is magic in   (3.36)

Song highlighting that there is literally magic in everything everywhere

Tree   (3.04)

Song about the value of a tree: in lots and lots of ways

Cohabitor (spider song)   (1.24)

Song about sharing your living space with a spider

Wings of the night (Bat song)   (1.37)

Song about the experiences of a pipistrelle bat from an observers perspective and wonder

The witchcraft song   (4.08)

An outline of some of the key aspects of pagan religions: being at one with nature and our planet

A shared moment   (2.19)

Song about sharing a moment with a wild mouse in your house: when you look at it and it looks at you, but being a conservationist rather than fear or hatred: the feeling is one of love and wonder

That’s not a love of nature   (2.33)

As a professional conservationist for 21 years it annoys me that gardeners think they love wildlife and worse still that they are good for wildlife conservation:  let me highlight just a few of their inconsistencies here

​

WEATHER

Weatherman   (3.04)

In the UK weathermen project themselves as respectable scientists – but they only have to choose between wind rain snow and sun: and still get it wrong most of the time. But they only work for a few minutes and no one expects them to get it right – so what a great job to have. Personally I guess the weather and am right more often than they are, I suppose in days of old they’d have burned me at the stake? This song openly tells you not to trust the weathermen.

Too hot   (1.34)

When the weather is hot and sunny everyone says what a nice day it is:  Well no it bloody isn’t: give me snow any day.  This is my whinge at the World about hot days.  Very few will agree, but those who do will share my pain

Thunderstorm   (2.12)

Do you remember lightning storms where the power went out and you were sat there in wonder watching it under candlelight:  This song is about doing that

Camping song   (1.32)

This is about lying in a tent on your own at night listening to the cold rain pouring relentlessly just a few feet away; by being surrounded by woodland noises and being too interested in all that to really getting any sleep

Complaining about the weather   (2.00)

When I was a child in Scotland it bemused me that old people would congrigate in corner shops and complain about the weather:  They have lived here all their lives – you’d have thought that they’d be used to it by now?  The chorus is fast and packed with energy: ideal for raucous dancing

​

CHRISTMAS

The magic of Christmas   (1.28)  
Short but sweet song about children waiting up for Santa, only to fall asleep and to wake on Christmas morning to find that he has already been

​

FAMILY

Magic   (2.42)

“If you have doubts in magic cast your eyes upon our son”

My Father (Bobby Campbell)   (5.24)

A tribute to my Father and the stories he told

Mother (Margaret Campbell)   (5.49)

A tribute to my Mother and all she did for me

​

LOVE

Gone, but I won’t be long   (2.30)

Song about hating the time that you have to spend away from the one you love

Only one girl for me   (2.42)

Song wanting everyone else to fall in love as deeply as me

Love   (2.06)

This song is a description of what it feels like to be in love

Love is…   (2.56)

Another song describing what it feels like to be in love

Gotta getaway (The garlic song)   (2.15)

A ballad where you meet the perfect girl but when she kisses you, but she stinks of garlic and you have to get away from her fast

The ying yang of love   (1.57)

Originally a poem that I wrote for my wife. I am always up and she was always down. I thought I’d lift her up, she thought she’d drag me down: 10 years on we are both where we were: We are each others Ying and Yang.

Everything   (2.26)

Wanting to give the one that I love everything I have and more

Beneath the yew and birch   (0.38)

Originally a poem I wrote for my wife on the 10th wedding anniversay about the church on the day of our wedding. As a song I didn’t want to add verses to what I originally wrote, so it is very short, maybe it can be padded out with instrumental parts?

Give me a chance darling   (1.53)

A song begging for a chance to make your relationship work

Girl in the takeaway   (2.41)

A ballad about falling in love with a girl in the takeaway but not having the courage to ask her out - so you go back every day and curse your own cowardice as you fail to say the words that you so desperately need to, to ask her out

Loving you forever   (3.28)

Song making a commitment to love

My gift to you   (2.03)

I would give my love the World, only not with all the problems that it has – they are not down to her – so I will commit the rest of my life to solving its problems

Of all the things I promised you   (4.05)

“I promised you so many things, but all you got was love”: but to be fair that is the most important thing in life and many go through life not finding theirs

Love finds us   (2.31)

Song about who love does and doesn’t come to

​

FRIENDS

Friends I know

Xander   (1.52)

A song about a really good friend: a crusty empath punk lad with a heart of gold who I am in a ‘cunt-off’ with and I celebrate my friend here in this song. That term ‘cun’t-off’ probably needs explaining? I started it because he was hurt by something a stranger said on-line, I just wanted to make what they said irrelevant and to remove the hurt: So, as a friend I challenged him to a ‘cunt-off’ and as friends we call each other a cunt for a laugh and we have had a lot of fun doing that in all sorts of imaginative ways. The bully is long since forgotten, the hurt vanished, but the fun persists. It’s a great example of how loving swear words can be – I really should write a song about that?

Shannon   (1.22)

Another song about a really good friend: an absolutely crazy, hyper and beautiful young punk girl with a permanent and gorgious smile who is a ray of sunshine wherever she goes.

Those were the days   (2.21)

A song about listening to punk alone at home or as a child at friends houses but being too young to go to gigs,  That is where it all began for me.

​

Feelings

Nobody cares   (2.03)

Men are not brave at all – we whimper and make a fuss about the littlest of things:  This song is a tongue in cheek plea for attention

Background people   (4.37)

We are not all front men: the World needs background people too

Is   (1.50)

This is just a random list of things that just are, but there seem to be implied hidden depths to this song?

Are you alright   (1.55)

People ask if you are alright, but no one answers honestly: they just say yes and how are you. It kind of makes the process of asking obsolite, or does it?

Young inside   (2.48)

Stay positive, try new stuff, dance, sing, love and embrace your inner child: You don’t have to grow up

Seeing   (2.10)

You can put up all the shields up you like, but as a good friend I will see through those but will always support you and be on your side

Friend with a broken heart   (2.27)

Song about helping friends through their difficult times by being there for them and understanding their pain

Love my friends   (1.36)

About loving my friends, but not like that

​

Doing stuff

Quarantined derby player   (1.01)

Light hearted look at being locked down beginner Derby player during the 2020 covid pandemic and being wrongly advised on wheels for outdoor use.

Reflection   (2.39)

We made our friends hanging about on streeet corners, listening to music, setting up bands.  But now when kids play out we worry about paeddo’s and old people see teenagers as a threat, so they get the police to move them on, but no one is concerned about this prejudice against them. Well I am.

Getting to know you   (2.52)

I might be big, but I’m gentle. Please don’t be scared of me:  I want to be everyoes friend

Friends and family   (2.40)

Song about loving my friends but only having one true love

A night out with Bruce, Lib and Anna   (1.01)

Song about getting drunk and building a snow-penis with your friends late one night. Little Bob was there too, but there are only so many names that you can fit into a title.

Twocking   (2.41)

Song about stealing cars for fun

Selfie generation   (2.57)

My generation hides from cameras, but this generation are addicted to selfies this is a song about that phenomenum

Lying on my back   (3.10)

Song about lying on your back with your lover on a hot Summers day just looking at the sky, feeling the grass beneith you, appreciating the wildlife around you and understanding your own irrelevance in the great scheme of things,

Friends   (1.03)

Short song about the joy of spending time with friends

No mean chicken   (2.22)

When I was nineteen I had a climbing accident: I fell between 1500 and 1700 feet off the Buachaille Etive More: the mountain on the corner of Glencoe and Glen Etive in Scotland: thankfully my life was saved by a chicken. This is a song is about that accident and how that chicken saved my life. It is mostly true even if you don’t believe how acrobatic the chicken was. As this was one of the first songs I wrote it is to the tune of ‘The Wild Rover’.

Old People   (2.14)

A light hearted song about old people

Digital zombies   (2.20)

A plee for people to put down their mobile phones and digital devices down and to re-engage with each other

​

Parties

Party   (2.14)

A fly on the wall view of a very lively party

Minibus party   (1.40)

Song about getting a party going on a bus

Quest   (2.33)

Song about an immature drinker being one of the last people awake at a party and feeling obligated to finish off all the half drunk drinks and regretting doing that in the morning

Street party   (1.19)

A fly on the wall view of a street party

Beach party   (2.02)

Song about a real life and legendary party on a beach after a festival, where we huddled around fires made out of deck chairs to keep warm through the night.  We were all playing music and singing along

Lockdown drinkin’   (3.47)

Upbeat song about video link partys during the covid pandemic lockdown in 2020

​

Drinking

One more for the road   (2.07)

The alledged custom of having just one more drink before going home, but then having just one more, several more times

Barley grains   (1.35)

Getting angry because you thought that your barley, which you had planned to make whiskey out of, had been wasted in the making of soup and vowing to punish the guilty party, but still eating the soup

High on life   (2.30)

Song about not needing drink and drugs and not appreciating the peer pressure to take them because you are high on life.  A celebration of sobriety

Drink drink drink   (1.36)

A peer pressure drinking song: “Come on get the drink down you”.  “No I’ll just drink at my own pace son”

Bucky   (2.03)

A celebration of Buckfast: a medicinal wine which makes people very drunk and very hyped up

The Yamin bird   (3.25)

Song about a giant invisible bird (from Irish mythology) that forces you to go to the pub against your will when you really ought to be doing something else, and about how powerless you are to resist.  It wasn’t your fault: The Yamin Bird got you!

​

Discussions with friends

You tell me not to   (3.07)

Song where a hapless man pleads forcefully to be left in peace, when his disgusting habits are highlighted. The song is from his perspective

You will find true love   (4.05)

Song promising a friend that they will find true love (I do that a lot and I haven’t been wrong yet)

Nothing   (1.52)

When you meet a friend you haven’t seen for years and you ask what’s new and they say ‘nothing’ and when you dig deeper you find out they literally haven’t done anything interesting for years:  THAT is not what my life is like as shown by the second half of the song

Tipping the balance   (2.37)

This ballad is a true story: A friend of my wifes popped into the pub after work on a Friday to explain that he couldn’t join us because he was going to Spain the following day and had to return home to do the ironing. In jest I said that when he got home, before his wife had a chance to shout that he should demand his dinner on the table now. He was sober when I told him that. Only he stayed out drinking long after we went home and that was the thought in his head when he returned home drunk very late at night. This song tells that story of what happened. Incidentally they are no longer together.

Wasted talent   (1.58)

Telling a friend that they are talented and that every day they don’t create something that the World is that bit poorer for the loss - but in an encouraging and supporting way

There are no friends with benefits   (1.39)

Song emphasising the need to separate friendships from sexual relations and not mixing the two

Nobody   (2.00)

You might insist that you are a nobody, but this song insists that nobody is a nobody

Inclusivity   (1.58)

Song about loving diversity and including all

Late up on FaceBook   (2.51)

I do stay up too late on Facebook, but those are also the hours where I have been there for friends and where I have helped them through difficult times

Torque wrench   (2.20)

An American friend lost his torque wrench and blames his wife: which became a running joke: this song was part of the banter between us on this subject